"I Could Never..."

I have to say something about this. You know who they are, the people who respond to foster parents with, "I could never do that, I would get too attached". So the foster parent must be incapable of attachment, love, compassion. Because if the foster parent is attached to a child they have to let go, then why would they choose to foster? Oh, wait a minute, it's the MONEY! Of course!!! Why else would you crazy people be foster parents?? I think people really mean,"How can you keep children then give them back? Do you even care? Do you do it for the money?". These are the questions they want to ask, but don't dare. So they say it nicely with, "I would be too attached, blah blah blah....". Whatever. Not to be mean, but they have no idea. It's not just foster parents that face such bias, adoptive parents (how much did you pay for your child?), bi-racial or multi-ethnic families face the same type of questions. Foster parents get such a bad stereotype because we do get a check in the mail. There are bad foster parents, no doubt about it. But there are many more bad parents, and that is the truth. I will have to put up with bio parents, social workers, judge's, visitation, agencies, cps, teachers, principle's, and of course the abuse/neglect itself that was done to our foster child. While putting up with all those other people, I am expected to teach, comfort, love, discipline, encourage, bathe, feed, and basically 'adopt' this hurt child as my own. My children are expected to 'adopt' this child as their sibling with no questions asked, my children have to share their parents. The truth is, these children are innocent. As a society, we need to value and love our children. When we are allowed to abuse, hurt, and devalue our children - our society is doomed to failure. I know the system is flawed, I know social workers have it hard, I know judges return children to parents that are no good. I know this. I know there are foster parents who have no buisness being foster parents. I know there are overzealous child protective services that remove children at will, I know that as a foster parent I am stepping into a world filled with pain. I will be changed, my husband will be changed, my children will be changed. We are choosing foster parenting because we care about the children. There is no other answer, that is it- plain and simple. We will get attached, we will get angry at the injustice. Please don't ask me about the money. If you want to know, become a foster parent and get your own check. If it's that important to you. I don't mean to sound harsh, I haven't even recieved any money for being a foster parent because we don't have a placement yet. But I have been asked many times how much money I get, I have been told countless times how others could not do what we do (and we haven't even done it yet! LOL). They are probably right, they couldn't do it. But not for the reason they think, not because they would get 'too attached', but because it's not enough money.