Anxious

I am really excited about fostering, but I also feel that I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I have read everything I can find on fostering, and a lot of it isn't good. It's sad. Parents who want to adopt their foster baby have to give them back to their birth parents, foster children who upset the family, agencies that are impossible to deal with. Are there any good stories? I know we will deal with the same problems, but I really feel at peace with our decision. I go back and forth between feeling excitement and feeling scared. Even with feeling scared, I still feel at peace. I hate the waiting...classes won't start until August, then October at the soonest is when we are looking at a placement (if there is a match for us). It really isn't that long of a wait, technically.

I am a country girl and other insights...

Just a little insight into our family. I was raised in Florida, I have a baby brother and our mom was a single parent and a nurse. I helped raise my brother, and I have acted like a "mommy" since I was 7 years old. We lived on a dirt road, didn't wear shoes, and ate what we wanted. My mom didn't keep an organized or clean home, she was too busy working 12 hour shifts at the hospital. Our great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts, and cousins lived close by and we visited often, usually unannounced. My family was loud, pushy, and opinionated. We had a strong faith in God, but attended church sporadically. Weekends consisted of shopping at the mall on Saturdays with Grandma, Mom, Aunts, and the kids. Sunday's we attended church (sometimes), but always had dinner at my Great-Grandparents house with whoever happened to stopped by. My Mimi (Great-Grandma) would cook collards, cornbread, mac-n-cheese, chicken-n-dumplins, peach cobbler, and sweet tea. No air conditioning, after dinner we would all collapse in the family room in front of the fans, kids had to sit on the floor. The adults had hand fans they would fan themselves with. We wouldn't watch tv, the adults would talk and the kids listened. No toys, maybe a few for the babies and toddlers. Anyone that visited was offered drinks, food, and dessert. My family didn't drink beer, but did get loud. What effect does my childhood have on my parenting? I don't care if my kids wear shoes or not, I feed whoever is in our yard during lunchtime, my kids hand out drinks and snacks to the neighborhood like they have an endless supply, we don't drink alcohol (okay, very rarely and never in front of the kids-I'm not a saint), our kids are loud and I don't mind. How am I different? My husband and I have a lot more money than either of our parents had, we live in suburbia, we have new cars vs old ones that always broke down, I keep the kids under a watchful eye, I like a clean and organized house, we have a bigger house than we need, our kids don't know what it's like to be poor, we don't live near family anymore. I am a country girl, I love country music (along with hip hop!) and summertime! We live in the north, our neighbors have full bars in their basements, the kids around here wear $100 shoes, moms drive expensive SUV's, dad's play golf, kids are all in soccer. I don't feel we fit in, but at the same time I feel we can be who we are without problems. I like suburban living, our house is great, I love Target, and I like cooking out on the grill while the kids jump on the trampoline. I am not in competition with my neighbors, I don't care where they shop or what they have. However, I do recognize how blessed we are and we try to instill a giving spirit into our children. I am a conservative Christian, but at the same time I am not a fanatic or afraid of the future. I have convictions in my heart that run deep. My faith is strong, and my compassion is genuine. I truly hurt for the hurting, but feel too small to make a difference. I give as needs are presented to me, this has proven effective. Opening your eyes to those closest to you, you will find needs that need to be met. They land on your doorstep.

Next Step

Next week our foster parent recruiter is dropping off the paperwork for our background checks and other stuff. Then she is picking it up the next week. We keep talking about the future foster children, and what we will accept. This is important to determine BEFORE the home study. We want to foster-adopt, and also foster. We want to adopt a girl, and we will foster both girls and boys. Foster Daddy thinks we will end up loving and wanting to keep all of them, and I know he is right. Right now, the ages we want keep changing: 0-5, 0-3, 1-3, 1-5 ?? 5 and under looks consistent. I don't want to have a detailed checklist right away. Age will be a factor, as well as trauma, and race will not matter.

We passed the first test?

Yesterday was the visit with the foster parent recruiter with the private agency. It went very well. We had lots of questions and we were reassured. From what I gather, I think she came out to prescreen us. This is needed so that everyone's time isn't wasted. She said we were 'perfect'!! So now what? We are waiting. Next is the background check and the homestudy. I was under the impression that the background check would be today, but guess not. We start our training classes in August. I'm nervous. This is huge!

Today is the First Visit

Today we get a visit from the Private Agency. I am nervous and excited. This is only the first of many steps we need to take in order to become foster parents. Today my main questions are: How much support will the agency give us?
Our biggest fear: Being accused of child abuse by the birth parents (or anyone else), is this common?
What are the different case scenarios, in regards to the children, should we expect?
That is all I can think of at this moment.
Our background check will be done today. So that is good, one thing down...

Private or Public Agency

The first question is: Private or Public Agency?
Private Agency: Claims to have more support for foster parents, training is flexible, starting right away.
Public Agency: Training is not flexible, the need is great, social workers overloaded.
We have an appt on Tuesday with the private agency at our home. We have lots of ?'s...

Fostering Beginnings

How do you know what is right? Is is a feeling? Confirmation from another source? Does it just fall into place? Does God lead us to His path? Here we are, wanting more children. We see the need for foster parents, we want to adopt a daughter. Fostering has been in my heart for a long time. Just recently my husband and I opened up the possibility of fostering seriously. We know parenting is hard, we have 3 boys. We love being parents, we love being married. We are acting out of faith, believing this may be our right path for the immediate future. I wish I could say that I was 100% confident and happy about fostering. Instead I am scared and full of questions. I do want to foster, but along with comes all the mixed up emotions. I want to help, but I want to protect my family and myself. I pray that God will give us the strength we need to be loving parents for our children and our future foster children. Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I love it. I love being a MOM!