Haiti

The orphanages in Haiti are being robbed of their food and other supplies. Are they going to airlift these babies? If so, how do we offer to foster (adopt?) one or more??? Sad and desperate situation. What is the answer? Some people in Haiti were on tv begging for America to take over their country. They must have order soon or it will become even more dangerous. I know that our country will be more than willing to take care of the children, but the elderly are suffering as much as the children. Always the two most vulnerable populations. Everywhere you look you can donate to Haiti, but sometimes money can't fix it. It's going to take more than money.
Just my opinion.

Something to Ponder...

It seems so wrong to me that a year ago I was DYING for a placement. Could literally crawl the walls with such anticipation. Now one year later and we have had to give up one little boy, and now looking at giving up our girl. I feel no far ahead now than I did then. It has to be my expectations. We really want to adopt. This is what clouds the foster care reality. This is why my heart breaks, and my sadness can't be contained. What if I wasn't wanting to adopt Lovebug, would it be different? I don't know. If she goes back to her mom, then I'm thinking we will not be so adoption driven. That sounds really sad, but truthfully if a child works out for us to adopt we will not say no. But if I can just get over this adoption hump, maybe fostering will be easier. Somehow I doubt it.

A Good Visit

Mom had a really good visit today. She was excited to see Lovebug. It's so strange to witness this. I almost gave Lovebug a goodbye kiss, but then remembered my place. I had already kissed her before I handed her over anyway. So I left, empty. Lovebug was staring at me, like she does when she is stare-demanding for you to pick her up. Ok, so I'm being a little dramatic. But still. :) :) :) I love this baby.

The home visit

I try really hard to not judge, to meet people where they are. But I always have a little judgement to add to the situation. Poverty. That is where Lovebug will go. She will grow up in poverty. It would be easier to except this if we didn't live in America. If her culture was different than mine. But it isn't. Her mom's choices is why she will live in poverty. I do not live a sheltered life, I grew up poor myself. But somehow this is different. Maybe I just thought I grew up poor, that is probably more like it.

Thank you and another step not in our direction

Ok, so baby mama now has home visits. Supervised, but at her home. She hasn't seen her in 4 weeks. Because of the holidays, bad weather, and sickness (the mom), and her job. It has been one excuse after the other. So now Lovebug is a month older, saying words, trying to walk, drinking from a cup. At this age it is not good to lose any time. But whatever, right? Home visits are set. I was really upset at first then I try to think logically. 1. If baby mama doesn't work her plan, it doesn't matter where visits are--she will still have to complete her plan. 2. If Lovebug is going home as planned then she needs to start visiting at her mom's house (that one hurts). 3. I'm once again reminded that I'm not the mom, so what does it matter to me (that is BS). Ok, so visits at mom's house start this week. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thank you everyone for the support on this blog. It is really hard to lose these children.

We still haven't had any calls lately. So strange but I am really enjoying the one on one time with Lovebug. She is an absolute joy. So happy. Everyone comments on how happy she is. Good, then I'm doing my job keeping this baby happy!

We go back to court next month. I'm a wreck. I have been trying not to think about it. But what if they send her home right then. We really need an adjustment time of several months. Like that will happen.

I've been all about quality foster care lately. It's so difficult, but so needed. I want these kids to have the same opportunities as my own children. Clean clothes, food, love, education, positive family interaction, boundries, parents, responsibility. That is what foster homes need to give these kids. If it takes your whole foster care check to buy new clothes for your foster child, then that is what they deserve and need. We make no money by being foster parents. What we have is baby gear, toys, clothes, and food and our baby seriously has a lot of stuff. The foster care money is so little, I don't think people realize that. The ones who complain that foster parents get a lot of money are the people who don't have any money, so they think it's a lot of money. Once you have a child that is old enough for preschool, you are in the hole. Foster homes need to value education, and I mean make it a priority. Just my opinion...