3 More Classes

The countdown is on! 3 more classes is all we have. I am so happy. We still have the CPR and first aid classes I'm trying to schedule, the fire inspection, and the homestudy. I figure it will take most of October to finish all of that. My plan is to do my part as quick as possible, go on vacation, and not worry about it. I am happy to see my family. I haven't seen my mom or grandma in 15 months!!! So I am super excited!

On another note, I have to express my frustration with people. One reason we haven't spread the news of foster parenting is the negative stereotypes it has. I guess because we have 3 children, we shouldn't want more (according to some people). That is absurd and ridiculous! My excitement is getting the better of me, and I told one of my friends I sometimes walk with. Her reaction? "Why?" in a disbelieving, almost disgusted way. I told her we were adopting, (I failed to mention the fostering part). I immediately felt like I had done something wrong!! I said, "We are still very young, and want more children". She then corrected herself, forced a smile, and said how 'sweet' I was. Whatever.
Then, our oldest son told an acquaintance of ours (don't know why he did that! He said he was getting excited) and she had the exact same reaction to me! "Why do you want to do that? Don't you have enough?". It's their attitude that I'm doing something wrong that angers me. Thankfully, my son did not see her reaction. I really felt put on the spot, like I had to defend my own decisions. I told my kids not to tell anyone until we get our license. Our youngest son is really wanting to tell his teacher : ) It really is cute and sweet how they are getting anxious, like me.
I know in my heart that I cannot go by other people's opinions. In reality, I think it's human nature to want approval by others close to you. So when we get negative feedback, I really second guess myself. I wonder if this is common for other foster parents.

Timing

Okay, so I have been thinking about the timing of our foster journey. We had a Disney vaca scheduled for the first week of Oct. We were super excited and our extended family was meeting us there. We should've had our foster license by then, and we were hoping we had a foster child to tag along with us to Disney. Well, first our classes were disrupted, then some of our family members couldn't go to Disney, then we had to buy a car unexpectedly. So our family vaca was moved to the first week of Nov, and we are going to Gatty. The funny thing is, we should be licensed right before that and we are again hoping to have a little one to tag along with us on vaca! Same thing, just different details. My nagging fear is that while we are on vaca we will get a call!!! I know I can't worry about that. I do realize that we probably will not get a call so soon. It's just my excitement getting the best of me! On the Disney note, we are going sometime before summer of 09, so that is something to look forward to. As far as having a baby in Oct, guess I was wrong about that.

New Date

I have a new date for our 'end of classes' day. October 8th! Then we should be licensed a few weeks after that. It will be before November! I am so excited. What I need to do: Make copy of forms, Take cpr and first aid classes, and Dr forms signed for us and the kids. That is not bad! My agency lady said that I can put a crib, toddler bed, and a twin bed in our guest room. Then we can be licensed for 3 children. What if I need 2 cribs?? OMG! We have to get on it!!! I'm glad our guest room is big. It's really a bedroom/bonus room. I can't take it, I want to shop!!!! But I'm controlling myself--for now : )

Taking Forever

Sometimes the days just drag on. I feel like we haven't made much progress since the start of our class 7 weeks ago. We should've been done after 6 weeks, but here we are starting our 8th week. If we didn't have all the bumps in the road, then we would have been on schedule. The whole class is behind, not just us. We still have 4 homestudy visits, so that is 4 weeks. We have at least 3 weeks left of classes, fingerprints, then our forms. I'm going to make copies of all the forms we need, so that will be out of the way. Other than that, I wait and wait and wait. I find myself imagining what child we will get. A girl or a boy? How old? What race (we are open to all)? What kind of horror have they lived through? Will they like us? When I was pregnant, I would imagine what our baby would look like. This would go on for months and the anticipation was so great. The excitement grew and when the baby finally arrived, he looked nothing like I imagined. So weird! I feel the same excitement and anticipation for our future foster babies. I understand how adopting parents long for a child they never met, or don't even know when they will arrive. Adoption is a journey that is hard on the heart. But still many parents choose the path.

Another Class Down

We have about 4 classes left, I think. I could be wrong, at least that is the trend! Our homestudy will be scheduled after the 15th, and we need 4 visits. So that is taking us into October already. It looks more like October before we will be licensed. I'm getting excited, or just staying excited. I love the classes. They get you to think more about the kids and less about yourself. Even though our #1 goal is to adopt, fostering in itself is such a need that I can't ignore it. People say they couldn't foster because they would not be able to say 'goodbye' to the child. Yes, that is a concern. But fostering isn't about you, it's about the child. The foster system and the judicial system isn't without problems. The children cannot control who they live with and when. The foster parents cannot control that either. But they can control that child's well being for the amount of time they have the child. This is important, the child is the focus for once. The foster parents are putting their feelings aside, and are fully aware that their heart is going to break. This is the tough part of fostering. I am aware of this, and I still feel called to be a mom to these children.