Out of the Loop, or just plain LOOPY?!?!

That would be me, I'm just loopy. Actually, as my husband puts it- I'm in La La Land. Little does he know, La La Land keeps me sane. I prefer to say that "I'm so busy and torn into so many different directions and doing fifty things at once that I don't have time to pay attention to my surroundings or answer every question right away because my brain can't process everything at once". So it may appear that I'm in La La Land, but really I'm on a break.

I am finally better, almost. I have a 'nasty' (as the doc put it) ear infection that has had my ear ringing for 5 days now and clogged for 3 weeks. I'm not complain' though, it's been very funny to say 'huh' fifty-million times instead of repeating sentences fifty-million times.

Our babies are so awesome!! I cannot believe we have them, I am so in love with them. We want them forever. Reality? I don't want to think about it. I'm afraid baby girl will go home. It's like a classic case of children who are sent home only to be removed later in horrible condition. Little Guy? I hope I'm not jinxing myself, BUT, I think we may get to keep him. His mom is MIA and is a drug addict who refuses help. Little Guy is making LEAPS and BOUNDS when it comes to his development. He is so smart, cute, and amazing. He is almost ready to walk!! He gives hugs, he puts his arms up to be held, and......drumroll please.......he refuses strangers!!!!!! He will cling to me lightly and has to be given over. That is huge for attachment reasons! I am so happy.

Tomorrow is a baby girl mama and dad visit. I love that baby so much, I will be very upset if she leaves us. Baby girl is super sick. She has a cold, but it's a bad one. I think it's the same one I had, poor baby. I even took her to the ER because I was so worried. The doc said she will be fine, but he isn't up all night holding her in an upright position to keep her from choking on her snot!!! She will be 6 weeks old tomorrow----I can't believe it.

We take Little Guy to a neurologist about the possible seizure. I hope he didn't really have one. I pray his little brain is just fine. I'm so worried about him, and I get so angry knowing what he went through before and after he was born.

Our kids. They are so great, we really have such great boys. They are crazy, lazy, messy, stinky, and eat too much. It's really funny, but can be obnoxious!!! It's just very strange having a teenager and pre-teen. I was a very young mom when I had my first two, and now I'm a young mom of teenagers. They are so sweet, boys are really the sweetest. Our baby (who is 9) is spoiled rotten. I mean a disaster--lol!!! He loves having these babies around, and the biggest perk is being able to play with the baby toys. So it's no surprise to see him zooming around on the pooh bear push ride toy, in the playpen with Little Guy, in the crib with Little Guy, or in the exersaucer. Yes, he climbed in the exersaucer today, I am still laughing about it. Long legged boy is in the baby toy. I made him get out so he wouldn't break it. He is a little 9 yr old, thank goodness. See what I mean about him being our 'baby'? Everything he does is just funny. All the boys help me with these babies, I love to watch them being kind and understanding.

I know this is a horrible long post, I am so glad to be back and writing!!!! Now I swear I can hear someone in the kitchen, probably the teen sneaking food!!!!! Guess I'll go put a stop to that and hopefully get to bed.

I'm Finally Going to the Doctor

After being sick for 3 weeks now, I'm going to the doctor...I now have a earache, sinus pain, and a cough that hurts. I thought I would get better on my own, and I really haven't had time to see the doc! But I'm going, can't fight it. Everyone else is over it, but not me.

Baby Mama Visits

I try to think that the mama visits don't bother me, and they don't too much. The daddy being there bothers me. Why? because he is an abuser. That is all I will say. I pray we keep her. My momma bear instincts are getting stronger every day with these babies.

Testing, visits, and loooong car rides...

That pretty much sums up our day!!! Our homeschooler has achievement testing this week and next. He is on the K12 online school (which we love) and he does have to take state tests. So all day we dropped off and picked up. Fought traffic downtown, and I think Little Guy had a seizure. He was staring into space without moving, no blinking, no nothing. It scared me to death. He did not move when I called his name, I grabbed his leg. He came out of is sort of slowly. He does have staring spells, but this was much much worse than I have ever seen. I don't know if it was a seizure but that is what came to my mind. I wonder if he has been having them all along. More good news? I don't think he has EVER been to the doctor since he was released from the hospital. So I'm waiting to see what the social worker wants me to do. He is fine right now. Poor baby.

Museum

That is where me and Little Guy will be hanging out during baby girl's mama visits. I bought a season pass, and we are hitting the museum 2x a week. I am a total history junkie so it's fun for me! I love museum's and this one has great kid stuff.

Looks like we have a good chance of getting Little Guy. I hope I'm not jinxing myself! uggh!

Baby girl is one month old now. She is growing, stays awake longer and sleeping better (finally).

We bought Little Guy more toys, some push toys so maybe it will help him learn to walk. He seems on target developmentally, which is great considering his birth. We are so lucky to have these babies, and I am so exhausted!

Baby Visit

Baby Girl had her first mama visit today. I'm sure it went well. I dropped her off at the 'station' (that is what it looks like). The visits are supervised. The drive is 40 minutes one way from our home. It's such a pain. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but the location couldn't be worse. It's right downtown, no place to park, no place to hang out for 2 hours with a 10 month old (who right in the middle of his nap and lunch time). See my delimma?? The other news, the judge decided that the mom needs 'make up' visits. So on Thursday we are doing 3 hours instead of 2 hours for a make up visit. Heavy, heavy, heavy sigh...I do have Little Guy here!!! I don't know what to do. I guess I need to scope out a good place to hang that is close by. But seriously, smack downtown has it's limits. We are a little confused about baby girl's case. I have a feeling we are going to lose her. I pray not. Mom has lost 2 other children, but she could get baby girl back. It's all up to the judges and the social workers, they have to do their jobs correctly or these children end up back home again. We may have her for a year, for another week, or forever. I pray it's forever.

Little Guy is amazing. No one suspects he is a drug baby. That is good news, Right?? I'm elated at how 'normal' he is developing.

We love these babies so much. I will be brokenhearted if we lose baby girl. I have given it to God, He knows how I feel. I don't know His plan. I will follow this calling of taking care of foster babies.

We are still here....

We have been very sick, all of us except the baby girl. Thank goodness, she is so tiny I was so worried about her getting sick. So after over a week of head colds, fever, coughing, body aches, and tiredness we are still sick. Yep, still running fevers. But at least everyone is functional now and it is getting better. Just very slowly. Sounds like the flu huh? I don't know though, since no one was throwing up. I am just sure is was some kind of super bug.

Our babies are doing great, we love them so much. Little Guy is attaching, he reaches for me to pick him up, and he lets me rock him and he lays on my shoulder. He is such a blessing. Baby girl is growing. She sees her mama today. I have mixed emotions on that. I feel for the mom. I'm glad she gets to see her baby. As far as reunification, that is the plan but it's unclear if that will happen. It will be a rocky road. Anything can happen, I am not going to speculate.

Babies born addicted to drugs

I have found myself right in the middle of this social crisis. Not only was one of my foster baby's born drug positive, but we love him and want to keep him if that is the what the future holds. That being said, it's so frustrating to know what to expect in these children. I had one nurse tell me that most issues are neurological, one person told me that you may not see signs of problems until after age 3. So unknowns it what seems to be the common denominator. One of my bloggy pals sent me some great info. I am going to post links to that info for anyone who needs it. Knowledge is power.

http://www.adoptionconnection.org/newsletter_drug_exposed.asp


http://www.adoptmed.org/topics/prenatal-opiate-exposure.html


http://www.adoptmed.org/our-services/


These babies are our future. This is a social problem that affects our babies. I get so angry about it that I don't have much sympathy for drug users.

Sick

I'm sick, the mamma. When the mamma is sick it's not good. I don't know what happened, I was fine then bam a sore throat, headace, and runny nose. Thank goodness for daytime cold meds. Even still, I am so exhausted and I can't stop cause I'm the mamma! LOL! I'm glad I'm the mamma, even when I'm sick. No one else is sick though, strange.