Coming Together

It's all coming together, maybe sooner than later. We should have the all clear with our home study by Nov. 14th. The fire inspection is Nov 18th. After that, we tie up any loose ends. Thanksgiving baby?? Don't know. What I do know is that my timing is not what is important. We decided on foster parenting with hopes of adoption because we became aware of a need. A need for safe homes for abused and neglected children. For the last year I have researched adoption from domestic to international. I always came back to America's hurt children. The foster children. We were looking closely at Ethiopia, and had the timing been right I would have signed us up in a heartbeat. Now Ethiopia is increasing on wait times and fees. I knew in my heart that if we were going to add to our family, then foster care was it. The signs were all around us (literally); they are on bulletin boards, tv, church signs, radio, and even t-shirts of other foster parents. It was calling out to us, and as we have listened in faith our family is about to change. I do want the process to hurry up, but that is foolish. This process is preparing us, and we need to learn as much as possible while we can. We leave for vacation tomorrow and I am so happy. I really did want to take another child with us, but I see that this vacation may be our last as a family of 5. What we need to focus on is each other, our family now-not our family to be. Our boys bring us joy, I don't want to miss that because I'm looking too far out the window. I am now embracing these hoops we are jumping through, and not rushing the process. God's plan is perfect, and his timing is right. It feels good to let go and live free.

Homestudy visit numero uno--done!

Our first homestudy visit is over!! Finally! It wasn't too painful. We had to give specific details of our family history. Our social worker was great and we felt very comfortable with her. She is actually coming back tomorrow for the 2nd of 3 visits. So I thought that was a good sign. I didn't realize we needed a TB test!!!! So we could've gotten that during our physicals!! UGGH~! It's looking more and more like the first of the year before we are done with everything. I'm probably exaggerating...and really we are moving along just fine.

Happiness

My Heart

I am your mother,
You are my child.

My heart overflows
With happiness.

Your acceptance is pure,
Your trust is overwhelming.

How did I get so lucky?
To become your Mother.

You are a blessing,
You are my heart.

Author: Mother to both biological and adoptive children (me)

I must be a pain in the 'you know what'!

After emailing my agency lady and bugging her, she agreed to get our homestudy under way next week!!! And then our 2 make up classes the next week, tentative---as we all know this can change. Steps forward...I feel good today!

Are we ever going to get a baby?

Waiting on our baby is hard. For one, I am very impatient when I set my mind to something. I am keeping busy doing normal stuff, with 3 kids that isn't hard. But everyday I think, what age will our baby be? What do we need? When will we see him/her? We are planning on fostering and adopting. My hope is that we get a baby or toddler that is legally free and we are able to adopt quickly, and not draw it out for 2 years. I know that I am asking for a perfect scenario, but why not? I can hope, that is all you have sometimes. We still have not had our homestudy. My part still includes: Fire inspection, purchase crib and toddler bed, and medical clearance for the boys. I am working on these, so I should be done by next week. I will put off purchasing a crib and toddler bed until after our homestudy. I am dying to shop for the babies we will have, but I'm trying to wait until the last minute. I guess that is my way of trying to not be disappointed. In all we have been working on this for 3.5 months. That isn't bad in the world of adoption. I hope to have a baby by December. My timeline keeps getting longer, which is typical (with adoption or foster care). I am saying December, but my heart is hoping for November. So much for October...

Getting Nervous

Okay, so I have been on the defensive lately. I am sensitive to judgement passed on us for our decision to foster. I am trying really hard to lighten up. I need to. I realize that others will not understand, and that's okay. It doesn't change our decision or our family. It doesn't matter. If I am being honest with myself, then I will realize that I have my own doubts. I am nervous about getting a baby. My life is crazy with my boys, but it's adjusted right now. A baby will mean less sleep and more work. I am aware of that, and sometimes I wonder if I am insane! Then I listen to my heart. I am here to nurture and love my children. It isn't always easy, parenting is really hard. I am jumping in with two feet and know it!