Peace

I have peace. Becoming a foster family has been one of our families most life changing decisions. There are many emotions and expectations that have to be worked through. You can never fully prepare yourself or your family for how you/they will feel. You will get negative as well as positive love from people. Neither will be accurate. You will not feel as wonderful as people say you are, and you will not be as crazy as people think you are. My emotions in this have been all over the place. Anxiety, panic, fear, love, heartbreak, attachment, happiness, joy, and finally...peace. I have peace. I have no idea if we will keep these babies. If Lovebug will go home to her mom and brother. If a long lost relative will be found for Little Guy. I do know that whatever happens, I do not have control. That gives me peace. It's not up to me. I feel laid back enough to enjoy our life right now. I cannot fret over 'what if's'. As a Christian you are taught that God is in control. Well, living that simple truth is an endeavor that can be a constant struggle.

Baby Mama. I think about her all the time. I look at Lovebug smile and see her mama. I feel so helpless. Of course we will be over the moon if we get to adopt Lovebug...but that is not the plan. Her plan is to be reunified with her mom and brother. I have accepted this and embraced it. Another lesson learned during this journey. What will actually happen, I have no crystal ball. I am not going to speculate. I do know that keeping your expectations low, really helps.

Little Guy is walking, he is a joy. A healthy, well-adjusted one year old. We are blessed to have him. No one has come forward for him. We will be at his court date.