Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The Mom likes Me...
So I chit chatted with baby mamma last week. First time I had ever had a chance to talk to her, 3 months we have had her child. I cannot imagine. So anyway, I found out today (through the grapevine) that she really liked talking to me and likes me. I have been thinking about my feelings toward baby mamma. It's a mixture between compassion and impatience. My impatience comes from seeing her children's life basically on hold--for her. My compassion comes from being a mother, a woman, a person. She has no one. No one. She is alone. She has me. I will love her baby. I will encourage her as much as I can. I don't know what else to do. I really don't think she is capable of caring for her children. She loves them, she just cannot provide for them. She can't even keep the electricity on. She is in a dv situation, she has the perfect personality and temperament for her abusive boyfriend. I even had a crazy thought in my head about maybe, possibly an open adoption. I'm sure that is just the mamma in me wanting to keep this baby. I'm trying to be objective. It's hard. I don't know what will happen. It will be up to the judge. We are by far the best place for the baby. That means nothing with reunification. I will continue to encourage baby mamma, but she is lonely and loves that bf. Also, this bf is really bad news. Dangerous abusive. And he will get visits with Lovebug...so not fair.
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3 comments:
Just found out less than an hour ago that I will be meeting Simmy's mom next week. Like you, I hope to be supportive. How could we not try? Then again, how can we hope for them to leave?
So stinkin' hard. Praying for you!
what a good foster parent you are in all areas :)
To comment on a blog your opinion is not cyberbullying...it is a comment and opinion and by having this little comment box on here, you ask for the opinion of your readers. If you cannot handle those opinions you should not have a blog that asks for comments.
As for the "trolls", these are bio-parents who know for a fact how corrupt CPS is, they know first hand that CPS kidnaps children, they know for a fact that children are safer in their own homes then they are in foster care, that more children are abused, neglected and killed in CPS custody then they are in their own homes.
Many foster parents end up being able to adopt these children, not because they are truly abused, but because CPS wants the money from not only the state and federal government for foster care funding, but the bonuses for adopting these children out. It is a very corrupt and lucrative business, I say business because hey are more concerned with money, then they are with the children they are supposed to protect.
For actual information on the Corrupt Business of Child Protective Services, google Former Georgia Senator Nancy Schafer, or Washington Senator Pam Roach.
What these bios say is happening is true, do you condone the stealing of America's children by a government agency, just so a foster parent can adopt? Is it okay to market children for adoption to receive adoption bonuses? Is it okay to only remove marketable children and leave the non-marketable children, "abused child" in their homes to die? How would you feel if CPS began investigating you and removed your children on false reports, then gave them up for adoption?
You are not the "momma" of this child, you are a foster giver, a temporary placement until the mother and/or father meet CPS's standard...(something that rarely happens) Your position is temporary in nature, you are not afforded the same rights under the Constitution as biological parents, nor should you be.
You should not get too attached to the children in your care and start pushing for adoption! It is not right for you to do so. You can love the child all you want, but they should not call you momma, they should not be lead to believe that you are momma or any of the other things I hear you stating in this blog.
Being poor and a victim of DV, does not mean that you are a bad parent, it means that you are poor and some asshole thinks it is okay to control and beat you. These are not easy situations to be in and a woman is more likely to be killed when she leaves, then she is if she stays. In many DV cases the abuser, still gets visitation or even custody of the children through manipulation and lies...would you rather be in the home where you can protect your children...or send them off to the abusers house every weekend.
If you have never been in a situation then you cannot make an adequate judgment of that situation.
And to remove a child just because the parents are poor is not supposed to be allowed in the state that I live in, nor is an abuse finding against the victim of DV, and states right in the manual that these are not appropriate...yet they do it anyway.
If you are going to be a foster parent, then be a good one. Part of being a foster parent is knowing that this is not your child.
You should also realize if you do the slightest thing to piss CPS off, say speak out because you see them doing something unethical or wrong, you will end up like many other fosters before you, unlicensed, childless, and under investigation.
I suggest that you do some research into the real CPS system, not the propaganda that you have been fed...If you do, you will discover a world that will really piss you off. And it might save you from having your own children illegally removed if they ever feel you have crossed the line and questioned their power....
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