Another call...another no...

Yes we got another call the day before Thanksgiving. I was so excited I could not contain myself. I was actually pacing the floor in excitement. The baby was 2 weeks old and was a possible adoption. I knew she was for us. I was already thanking God for her. We were told that we 98% had her. Then the 2% came along, and we lost out. We don't know what happened. I suspect that a family member took her, and that is what I hope happened. Then I crashed. The adrenalin was too much, the let down was too much. I wasn't crying, I was just tired. I gathered up Lovebug and went for a walk. Then we went shopping. I was sad. Then I start thinking, if I am still so excited over the prospect of another child, then maybe I am where I should be. Some people can't handle the constant let down. I don't know how I continue to put myself out there, but I do. As Feb/March approaches our stomach is in knots. Lovebug's fate will be decided. Her mom has every ability to meet the criteria to get her back. She says that she will. I am scared that she will. I know her mom well enough to know that she commits to things short term. Her children included. If we are able to keep Lovebug, then we want her mom to be a part of her life. I feel like a parent to the mother. It's very difficult.