Something to Ponder...

It seems so wrong to me that a year ago I was DYING for a placement. Could literally crawl the walls with such anticipation. Now one year later and we have had to give up one little boy, and now looking at giving up our girl. I feel no far ahead now than I did then. It has to be my expectations. We really want to adopt. This is what clouds the foster care reality. This is why my heart breaks, and my sadness can't be contained. What if I wasn't wanting to adopt Lovebug, would it be different? I don't know. If she goes back to her mom, then I'm thinking we will not be so adoption driven. That sounds really sad, but truthfully if a child works out for us to adopt we will not say no. But if I can just get over this adoption hump, maybe fostering will be easier. Somehow I doubt it.