Still Attending Classes

We are still attending classes. Because of work meetings, our timeline is extended. We haven't scheduled our homestudy yet. I thought we were so close and things were moving along before. I feel exhausted. I love the classes, you learn how to deal with situations and what to expect. I think I was being way too optimistic. I have accepted the fact that we may not get a baby right away. If we do, we may not be able to adopt him/her. This is the reality of foster care. The children are given to you damaged. You have to deal with the county and the birth parents. It's not an easy road to travel. On paper, it was so orderly and planned out 1. attend classes 2. homestudy 3. fire inspection 4. CPR class 5. licensed and child dropped off. That is the steps, but the bumps along the way are not foreseen. There are many things to consider. Our family will never be the same, I have to consider our own children first and foremost. So far, they have expressed positive emotions for both foster and adoption. They understand that we may have to say goodbye to a baby we love. We will try to prepare them for the worse. They may know this, but when they have to go through it--it's a different story. That is where my concern is held. Are we going forward? Absolutely. Am I second guessing myself? Yes. I think it is good to reevaluate your decisions. I need to be aware of the positive and negative factors in this life changing decision. Do I still want to be a mom to another child? Absolutely. My fear is fear of the unknown. I am hoping that other moms have felt this way throughout their own journey. In my heart is excitement for the child that is waiting for us. To provide a safe home that will feed, clothe, bathe, and love someone else's child for as long as we can is what I am doing. That is my purpose for foster parenting. I have come to realize that adoption is a gift that we hope to be lucky enough to receive out of fostering. Any path you choose toward adopting is not easy. They all are uncertain. But we choose these paths and endure.