We haven't told our families that we are going to be foster parents. Talk about drama! I have talked to one other person who is holding out telling her family also. It's because of the negative stereotyping of foster children and foster parenting. Both of our families will think we are crazy. I really just don't want to hear it. I ran adoption options by a few close family members and they did their best to talk me out of it! I know they are thinking what is best for us, but I don't understand why adoption or fostering is so negative. Why can't it be a positive option. They tell me I'm just wanting that last baby and it's normal. Well, I would agree with them if I was 50 years old, but I'm 33. (By the way, I think a woman has the right to parent at any age). Does that make me too old to want a child? That is crazy. Now the question is: When do we tell them? 1. Now (I'm not a fan of that one), 2. After our training (early Sept.), or 3. When we get our first placement (Oct or later). I'm voting for #3!! : )
Any Suggestions?
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3 comments:
Hi, I would definitely tell them you are starting the process now, that way they have time to adjust. t is a really bad idea to suddenly spring a child on them, especially if you are sure they may take it negatively. Just update them on the positive steps as you get closer and make it light-hearted. There are enough tough things about fostering without family members making it harder. They will all come around, especially when they see whichever beautiful child you get placed with first and all the good you are contributing to that child's life. Just give them that time to get used to the idea and it will work out fine. :)
I would tell them now. Like the last one said so they can get use to it. We recently started to do foster care and have our first foster to adopt baby right now. We had both positive and negative people in our families. Those that were positive are still positive those that were negative still are negative. I vent the negative ones to my husband and the positive people I cherish. My husband and I are in our early 30's and can't have kids. We love our new little one and he is ours. No matter what others say. Fostering is so precious.
I am so with you on this concern. We have told my side of the family and most of our friends that we are in the process of trying to adopt a toddler but we haven't told my husband's family. I'm still not sure when we're going to do that. We have an almost 4 year old daughter and she is totally excited about her new brother or sister-to-be. It's a tough one. I see pros and cons to both waiting and not. I figure it's really up to my husband to decide when he's ready.
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